Monogamy: Nature's way or Man's way?

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2009-07-29T03:38:00.000-07:00

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Sometimes at night

2008-10-10T05:50:00.000-07:00

I am unable to sleep. I toss and turn and try to close my mind from those thoughts that seem to repeat without end. I could think of Cagayan de Oro City and what it meant to me. But I am now in Cagayan de Oro City and it is not the magical place or even the haven that I dreamed it would be. It is very good though that I am here and contemplating a future which I cannot see. My bananas are growing and the mulch I tried to place on the corn are holding their own.

At least I know the mulch is working. I need more mulching material but there is none to be found. I might have decimated the old bananas but they cannot cover the ground. Besides, it is heavy work and the people who labor and till for me might be mute about their opposition but I can see that they are having a hard time. Cagayan de Oro City is great and I am happy to be doing something that might mean something in the future.

There are no deep thoughts for me tonight. There is nothing to ponder. The sky is dark and the rain has kept me indoors for many nights now. I am just biding my time.

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Impending successes

2008-04-28T08:31:00.000-07:00

Some things might be changing and they might become a fixture on the internet. From some seo efforts I have observed some changes in the way that the listings have been presented. There have been numerous entries that point to this and that site and this has resulted in some very positive results for many sites. This is not surprising considering that much activity has been observed relating to the sites being promoted. Very clearly, some seo work is needed if one is to break through the current state of affairs.

By the way, I have written three articles at Helium and even though they are new, there has been some very positive results coming from that. I should learn to be patient and allow things to happen at their own pace. There has been an absence of real work and this might be good for the over-all effect that I am trying to achieve. We will see if some positive results can be seen in the next few days.

Mylot is one way of making money while having fun posting on things you care about.

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Anyway, here's Cagayan de Oro City with another one: Cagayan de Oro City. My Cebu City site has made pr1, surprise, surprise. Dumaguete is still in the boondocks as far as Google goes but Dumaguete has made some headway. Jai Alexander rocks!

There is always: Ching's Way and Ching's Web along with Ching's Best and Ching's Illusion. Way to go, Ching!

Related Link: Piano Player

A Little Digression

2008-04-10T18:21:00.000-07:00

Some things need to be repeated and some don't need to be mentioned at all. Who determines what is to be told and what is to be kept secret. We all keep secrets and if one were to see what we keep hidden inside our heads one would certainly conclude that we are crazy. A wise man once told me everyone is crazy. He went on to say that everybody is crazy about something, for some it is money, for others fame, etc. He was right and seeing the thoughts in my head I can safely conclude that it applies to me as well.

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A little bit of this and that, a little bit of connection to here and there. This is what we all seek and what we all need. I was all engrossed with the idea of having my site indexed and ranked in the top for the keywords that I chose and for a long time I checked and looked and found nothing. This was to be expected of new sites but I began to worry as the weeks and two months went by without any apparent success. I did keep the page to the simplest that I could make it without making it busy and cluttering it with too many ads.

Check these out: Ching's Way, Ching's Best, Ching's Illusion, Ching's Web. They will bring you new developments on various topics.

Love?

2007-12-21T04:08:00.000-08:00

What makes it love and what makes it lust? Is it passion when it could just be lust? Who knows the difference between the two? I do not know and I do not profess to know any better. When the blood is flowing strong, hot and hungry, is that passionate love or is it something sordid and wrong?

What of it when the passion has turned cold, would there be anything resembling lust? This business of love and monogamy and all the neurotic guilt associated with desires and feelings that are condemned by the bible and other scriptures keeps our mind busy and our consciences constantly at odds with other portions of our selves.

Come to Ching''s World which is Cagayan de Oro City, Cebu City, Dumaguete, all of which are in the Philippines. Visit Ching''s World. Check out Jonathan Leger''s Search Engine Myths Exposed

Convention or Personal Desire?

2007-10-27T17:54:00.000-07:00

The French boast of thesexual prowess of their men and the chastity of their women. Is this wishful thinking? Who do the French men have sex with? Only their wives? Or maybe with foreign women? It is a fact that sex is a powerful motivation for doing something great. Without this motivation, there might not have been great literary works or scientific discoveries, or tall buildings, and geographical explorations. Sublimated sexual impulses are powerful stimuli still for achieving something and the sexual orgasm is substituted for the achievement of something else. Monogamy is good for having less turbulence in the home but it also makes a man lazy and content; well, maybe not lazy but less inclined to think of things other than the mundane.

Come into these sites: Squeak Smalltalk Adventure, The Ordinary Life, Politics: Divine Right of Kings and Presidents, Creation, Life, Consciousness.

Desire is the nature of the beast. We are all creatures of desire and in the young this is especially annoying. The people who have come before us have a saying, "children should be seen and not heard". This is one of the most stupid sayings I have ever come across. It speaks of the lack of understanding of nature. It also is a lazy man's thought. Desire fuels everything and makes people move and think and do this and that.

Our favorites are: Ching's World, Green Tea, Dumaguete, Cebu City, Cagayan de Oro City, Papoy, Moira Trinity Cagayan de Oro, Dumaguete, Cebu are all in the Philippines in the world of Ching.

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I don't remember

2007-08-17T19:02:00.000-07:00

I just can't remember the exact reason why I started this blog. Certainly, the discussion of marriage, polygamy, monogamy seems like something that is important and I did think that it merited adding my own thoughts to the mix of thoughts that constantly churn the minds of people.

It is uncanny how certain birds find their mates in the cacophony and confusion of other birds each seeking its mate. This must be some successful formula for perpetuating the genes and they go about their lives without questioning or even pausing to think about it. It's off to the rookery, to seek out a mate long unseen.

The world of birds and animals hold certain lessons for us too, I believe. It holds the secret of successful survival. The world is all about survival and Ching's World is all about it too as it seeks the formula for perpetuating its existence. Ching's World, like a new specie must need to find its successful formula to survive.

The roving eye

2006-07-13T21:35:00.000-07:00

Monogamy might be easy to think about when one is thinking of one's parents. Every child takes it for granted that his or her parents are faithful to each other not just in deed but more so in thought. We are born with an innate desire for order and symmetry. We do not want lines that are skewed or crooked. We want to line things up. It makes us feel safe. We want the sun to rise every morning and for it to set at twilight. We want the moon at the appointed hour. We just want things to be simple and regular. Monogamy is good for children. It gives them something solid and secure to depend on when life threatens as when a pencil breaks or a fish dies.

In reality, monogamy is not so easy. There are so many attractive men and women in the world. Secretly admiring a movie or TV star or a model or a face is not so bad or would ordinarily not cause a serious flare-up between couples unless one or both are terribly insecure. The problem starts when the subject of attraction is someone who is not a picture or a graphic. A live human being will always react to attraction and here lies the problem. Attraction begets reaction whether it be attraction or aversion. If the reaction is attraction then there is a potential problem. If the reaction is rejection this can also cause problems.

To say that monogamy is natural and ordained by God is belied by nature. I suspect that this notion is nothing more than wishful thinking that started at childhood and solidified into dogma upon maturity and acquiring a measure of authority. This is not to say that monogamy is not desirable. It is very definitely desirable. Monogamy makes for a secure environment for raising children. Children raised in an atmosphere of love and caring would most probably grow up to be loving and caring as well, less insecure and self-centered and more externally mature.

What monogamy entails is maturity and a high valuation of self-worth. A selfish person would want approbation and self-validation and would seek it from all and sundry. Monogamy therefore is something that is to be desired and aimed for. It is not one that is merely conferred or assumed.

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Meditation prevents depression.

Animal mating and reproduction

2006-06-30T10:25:00.000-07:00

The human female has nothing on the female rat when it comes to sexuality. Women or girls are often branded "slutty" when they engage in sex or even when rumours are spread that they engage in sex. Female rats on the other hand come in heat every 4 to 5 days except when she is pregnant or nursing; when in heat, this seductress becomes an actual sex machine where she mates with multiple partners nonstop and she will not care if she is mating with her brothers or with her father. The notion of incest is nonexistent in the rat world. This is the main survival techniqueof the rat which has effectively colonized the world where humans live. In the wild or in the natural world, their numbers are somewhat controlled by their natural enemies.

The queen bee is the only one in a bee colony capable of reproduction. Although all worker bees are also females, their interest in reproductive work is suppressed by the pheromones that the queen secretes. Drones or male bees are smaller in number and they do nothing but feed and wait for a queen who is ready to mate. Upon hatching, the queen bee kills all unhatched larvae and fights to the death all other hatched queens and finally kills her own mother before taking her flight to be fertilized. She flies to an area where drones congregate and she mates wiith several while in flight. The drones give their lives after this moment of mating where its endophaluus gets attached to the queen and he injects his semen into the queen bee and this endophallus is ripped away from his abdomen after the act of mating is done.

Around 90 million sperm are deposited by several drones in the queen bee's oviducts. After fulfilling her mating duties she proceeds to do her life's work which is to produce eggs for the colony. She does nothing but eat and lay eggs which are tended by her sisters who are the worker bees. This strict hierarchy ensures the smooth functioning of the colony and allows the colony to thrive. A queen can lay eggs for over two years if she still has sperm in her oviducts. Should she lose her capability to lay eggs, worker bees intervene to create new queens to replace an aging one.

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Being faithful

2006-06-10T01:14:00.000-07:00

A person can easily get distracted living in the modern world. There are attractions and attractive people of both sexes being bannered not just on TV and magazines but also on Billboards showing their best features in various levels of semi-nudity. President Jimmy Carter's candid admission on Playboy of having committed lust in his heart shows that even presidents are not immune to the flaw of 'the wandering eye'. The French are reputed to be the world's most amorous people which would lead one to conclude that most if not all of French women are not faithful to their mates. This is a big generalization but think for a while. If the french male is such a big lover, who does he make love to? his wife exclusively? or maybe if he is not married. his girlfriend to the exclusion of others?

Much has been said of romantic conquests and this brings to mind a question that maybe there are more philanderers than faithful folk in the world. Is man therefore predisposed to have concurrently more than one sexual partner? Can a wandering eye expose a heart that beats with a desire for more than just one mate? Is it any more difficult for a male to be faithful than for a female? I am sure that both men and women share similar desires that need to be fulfilled. Do women secretly fantasize about other men while making love to their husbands? What if there is no sexual satisfaction on one partner or both, will that drive a wedge between two wedded partners? How long will their marriage last in that case?

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Love

2006-05-30T07:58:00.000-07:00

In primitive societies, there is very little distinction between love and lust. That is, mating is a function recognized by everyone as something very much like eating or sleeping. In some localities a hut is designated as a place where lovers have their tryst, to consummate their love or maybe just to exhaust their lust. Many tribespeople wear little or no clothing often sporing only g-strings to hide their genitals and this holds true for women as well where naked breasts are not such a big deal.

Getting a mate is often a function of buying a bride, or of a man paying a dowry to the girl's father; she being a valuable part of his work force, must be replaced by something just as valuable like some pigs or chickens or maybe trinkets and precious adornments. In some societies it is the other way around where the parents of a girl must provide a dowry for her or they will get stuck with her for life causing great embarassment to their family. In this case girls are often less valuable than boys since a boy has rights to inherit what the parents possess while the girl when marrying into her husband's family loses her identity and becomes their responsibility and burden as well.

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Lust

2006-05-24T22:03:00.000-07:00

Sexual urges, arousal, sexual stimulation, ejaculation, orgasm, animality, lust. These are words that are not so easy to say in polite society or in front of children. How did this come about? In Genesis we read about Adam and Eve realizing they were naked and feeling ashamed. Is this how it really happened? To be suddenly aware of nudity and feeling embarrassed? Did Adam and Eve have sex before they were banished from Eden? Why is there such a big fuss about animality like it was a bad thing? Are we not animals? Are we not descended from animals? In this sense we could count animals as our ancestors. Is the act of coition an unnatural act contrary to God's Law? What is God's Law? Did He not create sexual reproduction as an efficient way of populating His Creation?

How did this concept of sexuality as being perverse originate? In some primitive cultures female enjoyment of the sexual act is taboo resulting in the practice of sexual mutilation where the clitoris is cut off to remove the tissue most responsible for female pleasure. This primitive and brutal practice is still being enforced today and who knows what natural laws are violated as a result of this.Why is the sexual act which might be a direct method of communication between humans relegated to the back alleys of society and any depiction in words or pictures labeled as smutty or pornographic.

Islam has a more rational view of sexuality; recognizing the great power that the sexual instinct exerts on human beings, it allows a man to take four wives legally and add to that a simple way to divorce any wife.

Till death do us part

2006-05-21T18:40:00.000-07:00

To be mated for life. To be together day after day after day. For some, a blissful union, the absence of one partner more painful than anything that can be endured. For others a life sentence to be endured, a prison with no walls and death the unwanted liberator. To what end does being mated for life serve? Is it a divine edict which cannot be violated or a cultural artifact? Is it an instinct distilled from thousands of years of evolution? Plants have no lifelong mates; they spread their seed wantonly employing devious tricks to get the deed done, like saddling bees with their pollen after enticing them with brilliant, attractive colors and sweet nectar, seducing birds to become carriers of their seed, and even wooing the wind to waft away the next generation to populate some distant parts.

If we believe in Karma and reincarnation might not the idea extend beyond a lifetime and validate the notion of two people being soulmates forever, finding each other time and again and rekindling old familiar passions until who knows when? Is there such a thing as soulmates or, is it just a crafty, fictional invention by a randy casanova designed to get a girl to open her legs more easily and willingly? Is she a victim of the male proclivity for sowing the wild oats or has she invented the notion to ensnare a wandering casanova to be her slave for life?

Sexual pleasure or reproduction?

2006-05-19T17:21:00.000-07:00

What would be a good reason for marriage? Love? Having children? Enjoying sexual pleasure? Having children might be a nice idea but the act of giving birth to a child is not a pleasant affair for a woman. It is said to be so painful that the moment of birth when the baby has left the womb is described to be something which is so pleasurable on many levels, the sudden cessation of pain can be a pleasurable relief. For the man, having a child is not really such a big deal except maybe he has to think of making more money and having a house big enough for children to play in. The foreign car he has his eye on might have to be relegated to the back seat in favor of a car more suitable for family use. Very often a family will have to take out a loan or a mortgage to keep up with expenses when a family starts to grow.

Child care is no picnic either.If one desires to have children then marriage would be a necessity for it is not so easy to rear a child with only one parent to do it. Birds have discovered this truth: a mate is needed to be successful in bringing new life into the earth. One mate sits on the eggs while the other is looking for food. Later when the eggs hatch one mate has to stay in the nest to protect the little ones.

Sex is one of the most powerful instincts and has been found to be one of the root causes of neurosis and unhappiness. Sigmund Freud spent his entire life studying the correlation between mental disorder and repressed sexuality. Sexual urges when sublimated is called Love and can be an even more potent cause for pain. True, love is pleasant and gives a pleasant feeling within but love that is based on simple attraction is really just sexual tension masquerading as love.

Alpha: males and females

2006-05-16T00:20:00.000-07:00

In the animal kingdom, mating is a complicated affair. Lionshave a dominant male which has all the mating rights in the pride. All the females belong to him and he mates with them as they come in heat. He is the strongest and the biggest and he gets to spread his superior genes. This is good for him but not so much for the other males who have very little chance of having their own harem of females. Fortunately for them, constant copulation is a big drain on the energies of the dominant male especially if he has a big number of females to service. He cannot really stay on top for very long.

This system works well for the species but if you consider the individual it is not so good for him. Take the case of wolves or dogs. Only one male and female can breed. Every dog or wolf in the pack is really their offspring. This would ensure that no inbreeding that would weaken the genetic pool occurs. Maturing males may have to leave the pack to search for his own. There are cases when animals pair off and mate for life as is usual in the case of birds. This might be explained in that birds lay eggs and eggs need to be incubated. So it would be natural to have a permanent mate who could look for food while one sits on the eggs and when the eggs hatch to take turns feeding the hatchlings and protecting the nest.

The question of family

2006-05-13T06:40:00.000-07:00

King solomon had seven hundred wives and three hundred concubines. In Polynesia before the missionaries set the natives right the it was common to find a woman having more than one husband or Polyandry. I some parts of Asia owing to the scarcity of land, brothers would marry only one girl so as not to split the land that they had. Islam allows four wives and easy divorce. The early Mormons allowed a man to have several wives which led them to clashes with the government. In some parts of China children belonged to the mother and were reared collectively by the family of the mother. Only women had rights to inherit property and the males in the family helped their matriarch and protected the family. They may have children but these would be living with the mothers.

In modern times, having more than one wife is usually illegal in most countries. Having mistresses may be frowned upon and make for salacious fare for the tabloids but are nevertheles common occurrences. The practice of living together or "shacking up" is not sneered at or vilified. In fact, it might be a practical solution to living in the city where the cost of living could be shared by two peopple who like each other.

There is a clear connection between having several wives and concubines and having wealth and power. In different parts of the world a King, Emperor or a Headman of a tribe can have more than one wife. It speaks of his power and prestige as well as his sexual prowess to have more than one wife. A poor man having a difficult time keeping body and soul together might have dreams of being rich and powerful and having more than one woman to take to bed whether she be a wife or girlfriend but reality soon dashes his wishful thinking to pieces when his stomach starts to rumble or when his wife nags him for food. Although it might be good for the king to have many wives hence many offspring it can pose problems for him later on when he becomes old and weak. His children might be tempted to kill him in order to inherit the throne. This has happened quite a few times in history.