Love

In primitive societies, there is very little distinction between love and lust. That is, mating is a function recognized by everyone as something very much like eating or sleeping. In some localities a hut is designated as a place where lovers have their tryst, to consummate their love or maybe just to exhaust their lust. Many tribespeople wear little or no clothing often sporing only g-strings to hide their genitals and this holds true for women as well where naked breasts are not such a big deal.

Getting a mate is often a function of buying a bride, or of a man paying a dowry to the girl's father; she being a valuable part of his work force, must be replaced by something just as valuable like some pigs or chickens or maybe trinkets and precious adornments. In some societies it is the other way around where the parents of a girl must provide a dowry for her or they will get stuck with her for life causing great embarassment to their family. In this case girls are often less valuable than boys since a boy has rights to inherit what the parents possess while the girl when marrying into her husband's family loses her identity and becomes their responsibility and burden as well.

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Lust

Sexual urges, arousal, sexual stimulation, ejaculation, orgasm, animality, lust. These are words that are not so easy to say in polite society or in front of children. How did this come about? In Genesis we read about Adam and Eve realizing they were naked and feeling ashamed. Is this how it really happened? To be suddenly aware of nudity and feeling embarrassed? Did Adam and Eve have sex before they were banished from Eden? Why is there such a big fuss about animality like it was a bad thing? Are we not animals? Are we not descended from animals? In this sense we could count animals as our ancestors. Is the act of coition an unnatural act contrary to God's Law? What is God's Law? Did He not create sexual reproduction as an efficient way of populating His Creation?

How did this concept of sexuality as being perverse originate? In some primitive cultures female enjoyment of the sexual act is taboo resulting in the practice of sexual mutilation where the clitoris is cut off to remove the tissue most responsible for female pleasure. This primitive and brutal practice is still being enforced today and who knows what natural laws are violated as a result of this.Why is the sexual act which might be a direct method of communication between humans relegated to the back alleys of society and any depiction in words or pictures labeled as smutty or pornographic.

Islam has a more rational view of sexuality; recognizing the great power that the sexual instinct exerts on human beings, it allows a man to take four wives legally and add to that a simple way to divorce any wife.

Till death do us part

To be mated for life. To be together day after day after day. For some, a blissful union, the absence of one partner more painful than anything that can be endured. For others a life sentence to be endured, a prison with no walls and death the unwanted liberator. To what end does being mated for life serve? Is it a divine edict which cannot be violated or a cultural artifact? Is it an instinct distilled from thousands of years of evolution? Plants have no lifelong mates; they spread their seed wantonly employing devious tricks to get the deed done, like saddling bees with their pollen after enticing them with brilliant, attractive colors and sweet nectar, seducing birds to become carriers of their seed, and even wooing the wind to waft away the next generation to populate some distant parts.

If we believe in Karma and reincarnation might not the idea extend beyond a lifetime and validate the notion of two people being soulmates forever, finding each other time and again and rekindling old familiar passions until who knows when? Is there such a thing as soulmates or, is it just a crafty, fictional invention by a randy casanova designed to get a girl to open her legs more easily and willingly? Is she a victim of the male proclivity for sowing the wild oats or has she invented the notion to ensnare a wandering casanova to be her slave for life?

Sexual pleasure or reproduction?

What would be a good reason for marriage? Love? Having children? Enjoying sexual pleasure? Having children might be a nice idea but the act of giving birth to a child is not a pleasant affair for a woman. It is said to be so painful that the moment of birth when the baby has left the womb is described to be something which is so pleasurable on many levels, the sudden cessation of pain can be a pleasurable relief. For the man, having a child is not really such a big deal except maybe he has to think of making more money and having a house big enough for children to play in. The foreign car he has his eye on might have to be relegated to the back seat in favor of a car more suitable for family use. Very often a family will have to take out a loan or a mortgage to keep up with expenses when a family starts to grow.

Child care is no picnic either.If one desires to have children then marriage would be a necessity for it is not so easy to rear a child with only one parent to do it. Birds have discovered this truth: a mate is needed to be successful in bringing new life into the earth. One mate sits on the eggs while the other is looking for food. Later when the eggs hatch one mate has to stay in the nest to protect the little ones.

Sex is one of the most powerful instincts and has been found to be one of the root causes of neurosis and unhappiness. Sigmund Freud spent his entire life studying the correlation between mental disorder and repressed sexuality. Sexual urges when sublimated is called Love and can be an even more potent cause for pain. True, love is pleasant and gives a pleasant feeling within but love that is based on simple attraction is really just sexual tension masquerading as love.

Alpha: males and females

In the animal kingdom, mating is a complicated affair. Lionshave a dominant male which has all the mating rights in the pride. All the females belong to him and he mates with them as they come in heat. He is the strongest and the biggest and he gets to spread his superior genes. This is good for him but not so much for the other males who have very little chance of having their own harem of females. Fortunately for them, constant copulation is a big drain on the energies of the dominant male especially if he has a big number of females to service. He cannot really stay on top for very long.

This system works well for the species but if you consider the individual it is not so good for him. Take the case of wolves or dogs. Only one male and female can breed. Every dog or wolf in the pack is really their offspring. This would ensure that no inbreeding that would weaken the genetic pool occurs. Maturing males may have to leave the pack to search for his own. There are cases when animals pair off and mate for life as is usual in the case of birds. This might be explained in that birds lay eggs and eggs need to be incubated. So it would be natural to have a permanent mate who could look for food while one sits on the eggs and when the eggs hatch to take turns feeding the hatchlings and protecting the nest.

The question of family

King solomon had seven hundred wives and three hundred concubines. In Polynesia before the missionaries set the natives right the it was common to find a woman having more than one husband or Polyandry. I some parts of Asia owing to the scarcity of land, brothers would marry only one girl so as not to split the land that they had. Islam allows four wives and easy divorce. The early Mormons allowed a man to have several wives which led them to clashes with the government. In some parts of China children belonged to the mother and were reared collectively by the family of the mother. Only women had rights to inherit property and the males in the family helped their matriarch and protected the family. They may have children but these would be living with the mothers.

In modern times, having more than one wife is usually illegal in most countries. Having mistresses may be frowned upon and make for salacious fare for the tabloids but are nevertheles common occurrences. The practice of living together or "shacking up" is not sneered at or vilified. In fact, it might be a practical solution to living in the city where the cost of living could be shared by two peopple who like each other.

There is a clear connection between having several wives and concubines and having wealth and power. In different parts of the world a King, Emperor or a Headman of a tribe can have more than one wife. It speaks of his power and prestige as well as his sexual prowess to have more than one wife. A poor man having a difficult time keeping body and soul together might have dreams of being rich and powerful and having more than one woman to take to bed whether she be a wife or girlfriend but reality soon dashes his wishful thinking to pieces when his stomach starts to rumble or when his wife nags him for food. Although it might be good for the king to have many wives hence many offspring it can pose problems for him later on when he becomes old and weak. His children might be tempted to kill him in order to inherit the throne. This has happened quite a few times in history.