The roving eye
Monogamy might be easy to think about when one is thinking of one's parents. Every child takes it for granted that his or her parents are faithful to each other not just in deed but more so in thought. We are born with an innate desire for order and symmetry. We do not want lines that are skewed or crooked. We want to line things up. It makes us feel safe. We want the sun to rise every morning and for it to set at twilight. We want the moon at the appointed hour. We just want things to be simple and regular. Monogamy is good for children. It gives them something solid and secure to depend on when life threatens as when a pencil breaks or a fish dies.
In reality, monogamy is not so easy. There are so many attractive men and women in the world. Secretly admiring a movie or TV star or a model or a face is not so bad or would ordinarily not cause a serious flare-up between couples unless one or both are terribly insecure. The problem starts when the subject of attraction is someone who is not a picture or a graphic. A live human being will always react to attraction and here lies the problem. Attraction begets reaction whether it be attraction or aversion. If the reaction is attraction then there is a potential problem. If the reaction is rejection this can also cause problems.
To say that monogamy is natural and ordained by God is belied by nature. I suspect that this notion is nothing more than wishful thinking that started at childhood and solidified into dogma upon maturity and acquiring a measure of authority. This is not to say that monogamy is not desirable. It is very definitely desirable. Monogamy makes for a secure environment for raising children. Children raised in an atmosphere of love and caring would most probably grow up to be loving and caring as well, less insecure and self-centered and more externally mature.
What monogamy entails is maturity and a high valuation of self-worth. A selfish person would want approbation and self-validation and would seek it from all and sundry. Monogamy therefore is something that is to be desired and aimed for. It is not one that is merely conferred or assumed.
In reality, monogamy is not so easy. There are so many attractive men and women in the world. Secretly admiring a movie or TV star or a model or a face is not so bad or would ordinarily not cause a serious flare-up between couples unless one or both are terribly insecure. The problem starts when the subject of attraction is someone who is not a picture or a graphic. A live human being will always react to attraction and here lies the problem. Attraction begets reaction whether it be attraction or aversion. If the reaction is attraction then there is a potential problem. If the reaction is rejection this can also cause problems.
To say that monogamy is natural and ordained by God is belied by nature. I suspect that this notion is nothing more than wishful thinking that started at childhood and solidified into dogma upon maturity and acquiring a measure of authority. This is not to say that monogamy is not desirable. It is very definitely desirable. Monogamy makes for a secure environment for raising children. Children raised in an atmosphere of love and caring would most probably grow up to be loving and caring as well, less insecure and self-centered and more externally mature.
What monogamy entails is maturity and a high valuation of self-worth. A selfish person would want approbation and self-validation and would seek it from all and sundry. Monogamy therefore is something that is to be desired and aimed for. It is not one that is merely conferred or assumed.
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Meditation prevents depression.
posted by underdog @ 9:35 PM
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